Good Grief
Issue 9 | March 2026
Grief isn’t something to be ‘treated’ but rather a natural experience that people learn to live with. (Judith Murray)
Loss is when we are deprived of a thing or a person of attachment, either through a natural process, accident, neglect, or misfortune. The loss may be tangible (retirement, death, unemployment, divorce, menopause) or intangible (ageing, status, confidence, trust, friendship). Grieving is the normal response experienced, and a natural recovery process. Grieving involves changes in emotions, thoughts, behaviours, and bodily reactions.
Dealing with loss is an individual, lonely experience. It can destabilise your sense of control and safety, and remind you of other (real or imagined) losses. Following a loss, there is a possibility for growth or decline. You need to address the pain. You will move forward and continue to carry some pain, but remember, grieving is necessary to re-establish equilibrium and to adapt. Grieving can occur at any age; it is not a linear process, and you may take two steps forward, then one step back. There is no expected time to get over a loss. It is a process of working through painful experiences, tackling challenges, while fulfilling goals and responsibilities. Ignoring the loss can have a negative impact on the natural grieving process. Focusing on the loss will be painful, yet it also enables meaning to be derived.
Pathway to Recovery: Accept the reality of the loss. Find out all relevant details, and attribute meaning to the irreversible loss. Feel the pain of the emotions connected to the loss, and experience them in spite of the discomfort. Adjust to a new life without the person or thing. Learn new skills, take on different roles, and redefine who you are. Withdraw energy from the lost person or thing, and re-invest in relationships and projects. Caring about new things doesn’t mean you didn’t care about who or what was lost. Develop plans for the future based on your values.
Expect to come through the painful time. Accept your inability to control the loss, and know your feelings, thoughts, and behaviours are normal. Channel energy into re-establishing your life by staying connected to good people, and by engaging in activities, as this is the way forward!
Article by Dr John Barletta, PhD
(Maleny Men’s Shed)
Health and Wellbeing Specialist
Queensland Men’s Shed Association
johnb@qmsa.org.au
Published 2026
